If you’re looking for weapons, then I’m afraid you are in the right place pal, because we have got them for you. Yeah, they’re not like your ordinary 4lb. guns, but they got stuff going for them, and by stuff we mean lots of stuff.
For more help on South Park: The Stick of Truth, read our Side Quests, Chinpokomon Locations and Costumes Locations Guide.
South Park: The Stick of Truth Weapons Locations
South Park: Stick of Truth isn’t shy about the kind of weapons you’ll be getting your hands on (sometimes you’ll regret getting your hands on them at all). These weapons come in various shapes and sizes, not to mention a bazillion locations.
Don’t take me wrong: Stick of Truth is a pretty long game, and with length comes a lot of exploration to do, and with exploration comes a lot of weapons to find.
So any of you who might have started the game would know there are 4 classes to choose from: Fighter, Mage, Thief, and Jews. Yeah, the last one is a class if it might sound surprising to anyone who hasn’t touched the game yet and is reading this guide for no real purpose.
Each of these classes have certain weapons that are simply not meant for anyone else apart from them.
For example, you can’t expect a Fighter to carry an Ice Wand; that’s just weird man. In the same way, it’s just as odd if a half-decent Christian or Muslim is seen walking around with a Jewish Stick.
Weapon Stats
Anyways, I hope you get the point that I’m trying to make here. Well, there are a bunch of weapons in the game (yes, I know I said this before), and they can be categorized into two types: melee and ranged.
Each weapon has various stats, of which the most important are level requirement, weapon damage, number of strikes, the element of the weapon, and the cost.
The level requirement of the weapon is the minimum level required to use that weapon, while the strength or weapon damage tells you the maximum and minimum DPS it is capable of.
Number of strikes indicates exactly what it means to, while element is the type of added effect/damage that it comes with.
There are five different elements in the game. These are Fire, Ice, Shock, Holy, and Gross. The first four are pretty obvious and well known to most RPG players, but Gross is… pretty gross.
You’ll find a few nasty don’t-wanna-touch items that have this element type, such as tampons (Poison Grenades), broken bottles that came from the sewage, and dildos (Vibroblade).
Of course, there are tons of more conventional and attractive weapons, such as the mighty Sweet Katana (melee) and the mighty Crossbow of Impalement (ranged), two of the most powerful weapons in the entire game.
In addition to these stats, most of the weapons also come with bonus effects, such as attacks that make targets bleed, armor piercing, and certain crowd-control and debuff skills.
Let’s cut down to the chase, and look at the weapons in the game, and where you could find them. The numbers below each weapon are the stats, displayed in the following manner:
Level, Strength, Strikes, Element, Cost
Additionally, special effects of the weapon and the places you can acquire them are also listed.
Melee Weapons
Alien Probe
5, 48-67, 3, None, 1
Piercing – Penetrates 20 Armor
Location: Complete Jimbo’s “Big Game Huntin” side quest to acquire the probe. Also found in the UFO in a chest near elevator on the Observation Deck.
Archmage’s Wand
11, 169-235, 3, Fire, $21.00
Burning Surge – Gain PP on a perfect attack on burning target
Location: Find it in the “Everything’s Coming Up Maple” store in Vancouver, Canada
Assassin’s Dagger
10, 110-153, 5, None, —
Piercing – Penetrates 25% Armor
Jagged – Bleed on Perfect Attack
Executioner’s Joy – Gain 100 HP when enemy dies
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the Gnome Bag in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. This is a Thief-only weapon, and will only be found if you are playing the Thief class
Axe of Stopping
8, 133-185, 3, None, $12
Daze – Slow target on perfect attack
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Axe of the Underworld13, 629-875, 3, None, —
Vamprisim – Drains 300HP from bleeding target
Location: Use Jimbo’s Key to open up rafters above Jimbo and Ned.
Billy Club of Smiting
2, 18-26, 2, None, —
Weaken – Low target’s defense on perfect attack
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Butter’s Hammer of Storm
8, 122-170, 3, Shock, —
Canadian Halberd
12, 719-1,000, 2, None, $28.52
Wide Hit – Perfect attacks target everyone in a column
Location: Buy it from a shop in Ottawa.
Claymore of the Warrior
11, 434-603, 2, None, $28.52
Warrior’s Rage – Attack Up after perfect attack
Armor Strike – Weapon damage increases 5x your armor
Rend – Destroy 50 armor on perfect attack
Location: Buy it from a shop in Ottawa.
Club of Smiting
4, 53-75, 2, None, $10
Shield Smash – Perfect attack reduces shield by 1
Weaken – Lowers target defenses on perfect attack
Location: Buy it from a shop in Kupa Keep
Crutch of Weakness
4, 30-42, 3, None, —
Numbling Strike – Weakens target’s attacks on perfect attack
Location: After taking out Jimmy in the upper floor of Giggling Donkey.
Dire Scepter
11, 224-312, 3, None, $44.64
Dire Slayer – +20% damage against Dire monsters
Elf Blade
6, 67-93, 3, None, $12
Location: Buy it from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Fairy Princess Blade
13, 584-812, 3, None, $24
Enchanted – Attacks bypass from enemy’s defense
Location: Can be bought in the Pleases and Sparkles Boutique.
Fatbeard’s Blade
6, 85-118, 2, None, $12
Magnet – Gain 20% additional money
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Fire Sword
10, 165-230, 3, Fire, $14
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Fire Wand
7, 47-66, 4,Fire, —
Burning Surge – Gain 3 PP on perfect attack
Flamberge Rapier
11, 262-365, 3, None, $27.9
Jagged – Target starts bleeding on perfect attack
Numbling Strike – Weaken’s target attack on perfect attack
Location: Buy it from a shop in Winnipeg
Gnome Pickaxe
9, 242-337, 2, None
Piercing – Penetrates 20 armor
Shield Smash – Shields reduce by 3 on perfect attack
Location: When on your quest to defeat the Underpant Gnomes, check the Inside Wall of the Gnome Chase to find the weapon in a stash.
Greataxe of the Warrior
12, 825-1,146, 2, None, —
Warrior’s Rage – Gain Attack up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increases by 5x of armor
Rend – Destroy 100 armor on perfect attack
Greatsword of the Warrior
7, 76-106, 3, None, —
Warrior’s Rage – Gain Attack up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increases by 4x of armor
Rend – Destroy 50 armor on perfect attack
Halberd of the Warrior
3, 34-47, 2, None
Warrior’s Rage – Gain Attack up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increases by 2x of armor
Holy Hammer of Smiting
7, 54-76, 3, Holy
Weaken – Lower target defenses on perfect attack
Location: Unmissable.
Holy Lance
7, 110-153, 2, None
Reach – Perfect Attack hits the target plus enemy behind
Sharp – Adds 20% damage on Perfect Attack
Strength of Torment – +10% damage per debuff on you
Location:
Holy Mossed Knife
11, 150-208, 5, Holy, $26.66
Nazi Slayer – +20% damage against Nazis
Vengeance – 15% more damage when below 25% health
Location: Buy it from a shop in Banff.
Holy Poker of the Faithful
10, 281-391, 2, Holy
Strength of Torment – +10% damage per debuff on you
Vengeance – 10% more damage when below 25% health
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the Gnome Bag in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. A Jew-only weapon.
Holy Staff
3, 28-40, 2, Holy
Vengeance – 5% more damage when below 25% health
Ice Wand
5, 36-51, 3, Frost
Frozen Surge – Gain 3 PP against slowed enemies
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the chest near the right tent near the shop in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. A Wizard-only weapon.
Izmel of the Faithful
5, 37-52, 3, None
Numbing Strike – Weaken target’s attack on perfect attack
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the chest near the right tent near the shop in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. A Jew-only weapon.
Jewish Staff
1, 16-22, 2, None, $2.34
Strength of Torment – +5% damage per debuff on you
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Kenny’s Bloody Club
2, 13-18, 3, None
Sharp – Adds 10% damage on perfect attack
Location: Inside Kenny’s Garage after taking out Meth Tweakers.
Knead-ring the Dough Hammer
12, 341-475, 4, None, $16
Shield Smash – Perfect attacks reduce shield by 5
Location: Can be bought in the Pleases and Sparkles Boutique.
Kriss Dagger
2, 11-16, 4, None, $5.5
Piercing – Penetrates 5 enemy armor
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Laser Sword
9, 130-181, 3, Shock
Warrior’s Rage – Gain attack up after a perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapons damage increases by 4x your armor
Location: Check the Grade 4 Classroom during your second visit to the Southpark School. This is a Fighter-only weapon.
Lightning Wand
2, 13-18, 3, Shock, $5
Numbing Strike – Weak target’s attack on perfect attack
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Mace of Restoration
4, 23-32, 3, None
Healing Strike – On perfect attack heal 5% HP
Location: Check the hall monitor locker in the first hallway during your First visit to the school.
Magic Wand
1, 15-21, 2, None, $2.34
Burning Surge – Gain 1 PP on a perfect attack on burning target
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
ManBearPig Claw
11, 179-250, 3, None
Reach – Perfect attack hits target and enemies behind it
Sharp – Adds 20% damage on perfect attacks
Location: Defeat ManBearPig.
Master Razor
10, 269-375, 4, None
Piercing – Penetrates 50 armor
Jagged – Target starts bleeding on perfect attack
Location: Check the Gnome Bag in the Crawl Space in the Abortion Clinic.
MorningStar of David
12, 656-911, 2, Holy
Reach – Perfect attack hits target and enemies behind it
Vengeance – Deal 25% more damage when below 25% health
Strenght of Torment – 15% more damage per debuff on you
Noob Hammer
3, 37-52, 2, None, $6
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Poignard
5, 31-43, 4, None
Piercing – Penetrates 25% of the armor
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attack
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the chest near the right tent near the shop in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. This is a Thief-only item.
Push Dagger
3, 19-273, None
Piercing – Penetrates 5 of enemy armor
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attack
Raider’s Blade
8, 101-141, 3, None, $13
Sharp – Adds 20% damage on perfect attack
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attack
Location: Purchased from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Rod of Major Boobage
9, 269-375, 2, None, $16.90
Daze – Slow your target on perfect attack
Weaken – Lower your target’s defenses on perfect attack
Location: Purchased from Mr. Mackey.
Rod of Waste
7, 71-100, 2, Gross
Gross Out – Target starts puking and cannot be healed
Location: Behind a generator in Sewers. It is the same generator used to track Al-Gore.
Rogue’s Dagger
1, 10-15,3 ,None, $2.34
Bloody Surge – Gain 1 PP on perfect attacks on bleeding targets
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Serrated Axe of Rending
11, 350-487, 3, None
Sharp – +20% damage on perfect attacks
Rend – Destroy 30 armor on perfect attacks
Location: Check the blue chest behind the destructible wall in Vancouver during the quest “O Canada”.
Shocking Staff
10, 221-307, 2, Shock
Numbing Strike – Weakens target attacks on perfect attack
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the Gnome Bag in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. A Wizard-only weapon.
Sicca Dagger of the Faithful
9, 84-117, 5, Holy
Vengeance – +10% additional damage when below 25% health
Location: Check the Grade 4 Classroom during your second visit to the Southpark School. This is a Jew-only weapon.
Sickle Sword of the Faithful
2, 13-18, 3, Holy, $4.50
Strength of Torment – +5% damage for every debuff on you
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Slashing Blade of the Ranger
8, 179-250, 2, None
Jagged – Target starts bleeding on perfect attack
Wide Hit – Perfect attack targets all in a column
Staff of Winter
8, 99-138, 3, Frost, $12
Frozen Surge – Gain 10 PP against a slow target
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Star Wand
9, 139-193, 3, None
Surprise Hit – +1% damage against sleeping target
Burning Sage – Gain 4 PP against a burning target
Slow Target – Gain 5 PP against a slow target
Stone Hammer
7, 134-187, 2, None
Shield Smash – Perfect attack reduces shields by 3
Location: Check the rooftop of the Taco Bell Facility during the PTA Problems quest.
Super Cereal ManBearPig Club
8, 143-200, 3, None
Sweet Katana
14, 1,349-1,875, 3, None, $75
Rend – Destroys 200 armor on attack
Location: Purchased from Jimbo in Canada.
Sword Breaker
9, 106-147, 4, None
Numbing Strike – Weaken target’s attack on perfect attack
Jagged – Target starts bleeding on perfect attack
Block – Damage reduced by 10% while blocking
Location: Check the Grade 4 Classroom during your second visit to the Southpark school. This is a Thief only weapon.
Sword of Endings
12, 494-687, 3, None, $23.00
Called Shot – Attack Up when enemy is killed
Luck Break – Gain 100 HP when enemy is killed
Location: Purchase from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Vibroblade
14, 809-1,125, 4, Gross
It’s your mom’s dildo
Location: Inside Mr. Slave right next to iPhone.
Wand of Wizarding
3, 16-22, 3, Fire
Burning Surge – Gain 2 PP on perfect attack on burning target
Warhammer
10, 292-406, 2, None
Warrior’s Rage – Attack Up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increased 5x your armor
Shield Smash – Perfect attacks reduce shield by 2
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the Gnome Bag in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. This is a Fighter weapon only
Warrior’s Axe
5, 32-45, 4, None
Warrior’s Rage – Attack Up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increased 4x your armor
Numbing Strike – Weaken target’s attack on perfect attack
Location: During the quest Noncomformist, check in the chest near the right tent near the shop in Kyle’s backyard or “the King’s Forest”. A Fighter-only weapon.
Warrior’s Blade
1, 17-23, 2, None, $2.34
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increases 2x your armor
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Warrior’s Longsword
8, 106-147, 3, None, $12
Warrior’s Rage – Attack Up after perfect attack
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increased 3x your armor
Reach – Perfect attack hits target and enemy behind it
Location: Buy it from Jimbo.
Warrior’s Scimitar
2, 15-21, 3, None, $5.5
Armored Strike – Weapon damage increased 3x your armor
Location: Can be bought in the Lootkupa Keep Armory Shop
Wizard’s Staff
12, 431-598, 3, Fire
Combustion – Applies burning damage instantly on magic attacks
Burning Sage – Gain 4 PP on perfect attack on a burning target
Ranged Weapons
Alien Ray Gun
4, 75, —, Shock
Strafe Hit – Hits a complete row of enemies
Shield Smash – Perfect attacks reduce shield by 5
Location: It is obtained automatically after defeating the first group of alines in Spaceship.
Bar Darts
3, 35, 3, None
Sharp – +10% damage on perfect attacks
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Scatter – Hits up to three different targets
Location: Complete Rats in the Cellar.
Basketball
8, 150-314, —,None
Bounce – Bounces to hit a random target
Double-hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Found during your attack on the school with Cartmanin the cafeteria.
Batdadarang
7, 140, 5, None, $14
Chain – Bounces to up to 5 different targets
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Location: Purchase from Mr. Mickey.
Battle Bow
11, 240, 3, Fire, $23
Thorns – Melee enemies take 50 damage
Triple-Hard Hit – Strong against armor and hits for extra damage
Volley – Fire 3 projectile arrows that can crit on perfect attacks
Location: Buy it from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Bow of Sucking
1, 9, 3, None
Triple-Hard Hit – Strong against armor and hits for extra damage
Volley – Fire 3 projectile arrows that can crit on perfect attacks
Location: Can be won in the initial fights against Elven enemies in the “New Kid in Town” quest.
Broken Bottle
6, 50, 4, Gross
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attack
Scatter – Hit up to 4 random targets
Location: Inside the Sewers near Shitshow 25c box.
Chakram
14, 500, 6, None, $24
Chain – Bounces to up to 3 different targets
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Location: Can be bought in the Pleases and Sparkles Boutique.
Crossbow of Impalement
14, 1,000-2,099, —, None, $50
Strafe Hit – Hits a complete row of enemies
Double-hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Buy it from Jimbo.
Disc of Bleeding
12, 1,250, 2, None
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Scatter – Hit up to 2 random targets
Location: Can be found in the chest behind the locked door in the church in Banff, during the quest “O Canada”.
Dodge Ball
3, 25-52, —, None
Bounce – Bounces to hit a random target
Double-hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Located on a monitor located in the group having Brass Key. (Inside School)
Elvish Longbow
10, 160,4, None
Quad-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Volley – Fire 4 projectile arrows that can crit on perfect attacks
Location: Purchased from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Elvish Shortbow
3, 20, 3, None
Triple-hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Volley – Fire 4 projectile arrows that can crit on perfect attacks
Location: Unmissable.
Fairy Princess Bow
12, 250, 5, None, $24
Penta-hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Sharp – +20% damage on perfect attack
Volley – Fire 4 projectile arrows that can crit on perfect attacks
Location: Can be bought in the Pleases and Sparkles Boutique.
Fucking Ninja Stars
12, 333, 6, None
Piercing – Penetrates 25% armor
Sharp – +25% damage on perfect attack
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Scatter – Hit up to 6 random targets
Grenade of Slowing
14, 800, — , None
Freezing – Slows target on perfect hit
Splash – Hits go to 4 adjacent targets with half damage
Location: Use Jimbo’s Key to open a chest in the rafters above Jimbo and Ned.
Lawn Dart
13, 810, 3, None
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Scatter – Hit up to 3 random targets
Location: Find this during the quest “Beat up Clyde”. You’ll find this in Clyde’s Fortress –the first level – in a chest inside the Armory.
Longbow
6, 90-188, —, None, $12
Volley – Fire 2 projectiles that crit on perfect hits
Double-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location:Purchased from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Missile of Slowing
4, 75-93, —, None
Freezing – Slows target on perfect hit
Extra-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Complete Vulcan Around.
Mongorian Bow
3, 35, 3, Fire
Triple-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Triple Hit – Weapon hits 3 times
Location: Obtain it from one of the Mongorian Kids on second floor of Tower of Peace.
Poison Grenade
11, 50, 6, Gross
Scatter – Hits up to 6 random targets
Location: Check the Abortion Clinic, finding them in the cabinet under the clock in the Hallway. Eww.
Recurve Bow
9,120-551, -, None, $18
Volley – Fire 4 projectiles that crit on perfect hits
Quad-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Purchased from a shop in Elven Kingdom.
Super Bouncy Ball
10, 100, 9, None
Chain – Bounces to up to 9 targets
Throwing Knife
7, 55 , 4, None
Piercing – Penetrates 50 armor
Jagged – Target bleeds on perfect attacks
Sharp – +25% damage on perfect attack
Scatter – Hits up to 4 random targets
Wooden Crossbow
6, 80-100, —,None, $14
Shield Smash – Perfect attack reduces shield by 3
Reach – Perfect attack hits target and enemy behind it
Extra-Hard Hit – Extra damage on hits and strong against armor
Location: Purchase from Jimbo.
