scroll down

Donald Trump’s Genitals Compared With “Toad” of Mario Kart By Stormy Daniels

Stormy Daniels, a popular pornographic actress, gained attention from the mainstream media when she claimed to have an affair with President Donald Trump. While her claims remain unsubstantiated to this day, she isn’t staying quiet about the intimate details of her alleged relationship with President Trump.

In a new book that is yet to be published by Daniels, she compared President Trump’s genitals to “Toad,” a popular Mario universe character. The Gaurdian was able to get its hands on an early copy of the book she wrote, in one chapter she talked about her sex life while she was with President Trump: I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f***ed by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d**k like the mushroom character in ‘Mario Kart’.”

It is safe to say Daniels effectively ruined Mario Kart for pretty much every fan out there. We won’t be able to play the game without the thought of Trump’s “dinky winky” popping up every now and then.

For the novice, Toad is a cute little fellow in Mario Kart who is a loyal attendant of Princess Peach. He has appeared in every single Mario Kart game to date. Toad is a lightweight character in the game and is quick off the mark; which in this story’s context is given a whole new meaning. This also reminded me of Trump calling someone a “lightweight” during his speech somewhere.

Let’s see how Donald Trump responds once the complete book rolls out and who knows what other parts of his body are compared to video game characters. As a Metal Gear Solid fans, I am just glad none of his privates were compared to “Big Boss” so thankfully, I can now go back to playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.