Steam user reviews are like looking into the soul of a video game. Sometimes they are well written and detailed while other times they are rants of random fanboys. Meanwhile, some user reviews are so brilliantly hilarious that it is a crime to not through an upvote their way.
We have had many disastrous PC ports and games that were just poorly designed to begin with. Steam pages of such games are home to some of most funny Steam user reviews ever.
So let’s see our top ten picks for what we think are really funny Steam user reviews.
DayZ is a game that took years to develop but the final product deviated from its original concept. On top of that, many of the game’s users experienced a host of different bugs and performance issues. According to one user:
Stephen Hawking runs better than this game
Ouch! That must hurt.
The Long Dark
The Long Dark released back in 2014 and is a pretty well received title. It is an open world survival simulator developed by Hinterland Studio for PC and Xbox. You take on the role of a pilot who crash landed in the Canadian wilderness and now you need to survive.
However, for some of us survival is just not an option.
My first play:
Wolf killed me.
My best play:
Wolf killed me.
My longest play:
Wolf killed me
I feel you mate! My Battlefield 1 open beta was similar to your experience. Snipers killed me.
The game is a third party remake of the original Half Life that released in 1998. Black Mesa went into early access in 2015 and still is in early access. The experience is nostalgic for Half Life fans:
1998: I crowbar’d a lot of things.
2015: I crowbar’d a lot of things in HD
Aaah, the Crowbar. I wonder if we’ll ever get to see it again in a new Half Life game.
Dark Souls 3
Well, what can we can about Dark Souls 3? It is not for everyone. Souls games are the most frustrating experiences for anyone who hasn’t been with the release since the start. If you are a newcomer joining the series through Dark Souls 3, well, it is rape time.
But this user definitely recommends it for casual gamers.
Nice relaxing game.Ideal for casual gamer.I recommend this game for casual players because of its simplicity and fun-oriented play style.
I’ll be honest, never played The Forest but it sounds like it is a very realistic game. You can actually chop off someone’s left and throw it at people.
Played like 45 minutes. Made a house with a bed in it, I went to bed to sleep. Woke up with a guy
looking down the window at me, Freaked out. Hit him with the axe, he died. TOOK HIS LEG. THREW IT AT HIS FRIEND. HIS FRIEND RAN AWAY
Picking this up for the weekend!
Who’s Your Daddy
Who’s Your Daddy is a casual 1 on 1 video game featuring a clueless father attempting to prevent his infant son from certain death. If that doesn’t makes you grab your wallet and throw money on your screen, I don’t know what will. Well, may be if you thought this wasn’t actually a game but an advertisement for condoms.
I thought this was a advertisement to use a condom
They should have mentioned on Steam that this isn’t a condom ad to avoid confusion.
The game is indeed one of the most spooky experiences ever. Mixed with FPS elements, the game provides a decent scare. However, its level and mission design is pretty repetitive.
Here’s is the most accurate description of the game’s design.
Spooky room, shooty room, spooky room, shooty room
That sums it up nicely.
Project Cars is excellent driving simulator but its ultra real damage features makes it a little too real for some. In fact, it is a little too real for the AI engineers on your side so expect to hear some odd responses.
Crashed my car on the first corner, lost both front tires, car not moving.
Engineer comes over the radio: “From what we can see on the T.V, the damage looks light. Keep going
Subnautica makes you descend into the depths of an alien underwater world filled with wonder and peril. It is an exceptionally well received games but there are often a frustrating issue with its enemy spawning, either that or there are just too much Reaper Leviathan in the game.
Here is where you should avoid.
Don’t go to the Dunes, a desert looking place with pillars. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Aurora. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Mountains, you can get trapped on the island too. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Deep Grand Reef, which is the deep end. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Here is where you should go.
Nowhere, just stay in the raft and talk to Mr. Tissue, Mr. Coin, and Mr. Potato Chip because it is not safe outside.
Better safe than sorry.
Dark Souls 2
Well, if you think Dark Souls 3 is tough than you are yet to experience Dark Souls 2. The following Steam review tell the story as it is.
I died at the main menu
Well, there you have it, our list of top ten funny steam user reviews. Do let us know which one of these funny steam user reviews is your favorite in the comments below.